I am happy with the person I have become. You can try and talk down to me, but I love myself way too much to care about what you think of me. <3

Source: musikamusika

29 May 2 musikamusika Permalink

Last week…

I had a huge fight with my mother last Sunday. She’s really annoying that I couldn’t stand it.

I didn’t go home Saturday night because I was gathering data for my thesis through experimentation. And it wasn’t easy. We need a dark room. And we improvised one when the sun’s already up. Imagine, we transformed the bathroom into a laboratory room. So, I went home around late afternoon, and then slept. I was tired of course. When I woke up around 9 PM, I am not in any mood to talk. I even finished my dinner after an hour. My mother was asking stupid questions and because I have a very small patience, I got annoyed. She’s like accusing me that I only had fun the previous night and bombarding me questions like she’s playing detective.

Well, she saw the photos from the camera where my group mates were beside the swimming pool (my group mate lives in a condominium) while we’re taking a break when we need to recharge batteries and that music video of Laruku that I took from Animax when Regine’s washing the plates we used. She 100% believed that I only had fun – went swimming and watched concert. WHAT THE HELL.

Of course, I always refuse to be bullied by anybody. I always retaliate when I know that I am right. And when she really got into my nerves, I told her that she’s irritating me.

And then, the next thing happened was, she became quiet, and then the next moment, she talked non-stop. When I tried to talk again, she hit me. When I talked again, she threatened me.

I went to my room, errr… our room (she’s sleeping beside my sister – but I always refer to it as my room since I am the only one who’s been sleeping there for a long time) and she’s still talking non-stop about me being a good-for-nothing child. I am ignoring her this time. I opened my closet, took out some clothes that I will wear for the next day (Monday – I have to go to job training), then went to the nearby room to iron my clothes.

She slammed on the wall (which is just made of wood, poor us) then hurriedly went to me. I was already ironing my clothes. I’m holding the flatiron when she punched me (I don’t know if she reached me or not because I didn’t feel anything) and everything was a mess. I am still holding the flatiron and she’s trying to get it from me and when she couldn’t, she tried to manipulate my hand and iron my face. She’s really aiming at my face every time she’s angry at me. Luckily, my youngest brother was just beside us and I gave him the iron while I am holding my mother’s arm to avoid getting hit.

She has this illusion that I am always a bad daughter. But what I think is that she’s just frustrated because I am the eldest child. And if she didn’t get pregnant with me, she didn’t have to get married and live a “miserable life”. She didn’t even realize that I never hit her back every time she hits me. Yes, I talk back. But I am only talking back when she’s accusing me of things I never did. She’s lucky that I only hold her arm and didn’t break it.

And so, everyone inside the house made a fuss about it. And I didn’t sleep. How can I sleep when I’m in the same place with a mad woman like that?

I never liked them – people from that house, anyway. So I didn’t feel bad with the way she treated me. In fact, I never felt this good after having a fight with them.

Oh well. She’s probably right about me being a bad person, no? Who knows~

27 May 2 Permalink

Losing Hope

My FB News Feed is full of ‘Graduation Pictures’. And here I am, still waiting for my moment. And I’m scared that I might lose my grip on this thesis thing. We still haven’t started anything yet. Oh no :( I hate to give it up. I hate giving up. I hate to think that I’ll be a November-grad candidate instead of August :(

We only have three days left to finish everything. And about plus 3 days extension for documentation. Do you think we can make it? （ToT）

Ā, Kami-sama, watashitachi o tasukete kudasai… 八(＾□＾*)  お願いします!!

17 May 1 Permalink

Everything Really Falls Into Its Right Place at the Right Time

May 13, 2012

Errr… it’s mothers’ day.

I went out with Michael (nope, it’s not a date) and I’m glad that we’re still the same good old buddies.

We ate, tried the huuuuge Ferris wheel (not gonna ride it again XD) overlooking the Manila bay, had coffee, talked about lots of stuffs, and then went home.

It wasn’t as awkward as I imagined it would be. It only feels like catching up with an old friend. A ‘long-time-no-see’ friend. (It feels like that one time with Aixx when I met up with her in Cebu). We talked about the past (our ‘past’ LOL), the things we decided on, our present lives, and future plans.

He’s a really good friend of mine. It feels funny when I look back at the past now, when I see him as a ‘love interest’ and that time when I was hurt when I learned that he found a girlfriend. 

“A right thing at the wrong time is still wrong”.

I will never forget him telling that to me many years ago. 

And now, I know that the only right thing that is between us is being good friends.

And that will never change.

13 May Permalink

Why am I getting surrounded by jerks and bitches?

12 May Permalink